Alright, I was born into the church, and I was always taught that dating doesn't or shouldn't happen until your at least 16. My question is, because of the terms we use today, having a boyfriend/girlfriend is called dating, but does this apply when your, say, a 9th grader? You can't exactly "date" until you have the means, usually a car and a job, to pay for the dates and to drive there. When does boyfriend/girlfriend change to dating??

My definition of dating is simply spending time with someone of the opposite sex, outside of family and school circles, with the intention to get to know the other person better and share pleasurable experiences together. I think you will find the answer to your question by trying to understand the principle underlying the counsel not to date before 16. Then, going even further, try to understand the doctrine underlying the principle. The doctrine is usually something simple found in the scriptures.

Maybe you could write here what you think the principle and the doctrine are?

I my self have been faced with this problem just recently and I am 18 years old and am preparing for a mission but I would still like to date I know I must restrain my self from having a traditional girlfriend but it is hard any advice?

ibmormonjedi wrote:I my self have been faced with this problem just recently and I am 18 years old and am preparing for a mission but I would still like to date I know I must restrain my self from having a traditional girlfriend but it is hard any advice?

Of course you can date! But what do you call a "traditional girlfriend"? My only advice would be to follow the counsel given in "For the Strength of Youth" on pages 24-25, particularly this:

Avoid going on frequent dates with the same
person. Make sure your parents meet those you date.

You certainly don't want to tie yourself up to just one girl, just before your mission. It would be a real distraction for you. Instead, try to understand the true purpose of dating, and what it can achieve when done properly.

There are many different interpretations on the subject, and i have ended up with my own philosophy. It is that one can start going on dates after the age of 16. A date is an activity planned or unplanned when people are "coupled out," as opposed to "hanging out."
After one's mission, or if there are different plans, one may start dating. Dating and being boyfriend/girlfriend are the same thing. One isn't dating until after the fourth or fifth consecutive date, or until the first kiss. Until then, one is going on dates. One may go on many dates with many dates at a time. Which should be down to one when there is kissing. After a kiss, then one is dating and, to be faithful and not cheat, there should only be one girl after that.

As far as a source, I would reccomend John Bytheway's "Are My Standards Fence Posts, Or Guardrails?" He explains it all very well.

As far as my personal understanding, you can't be "boyfriend/girlfriend" without dating. I love the above definition:

dating is simply spending time with someone of the opposite sex, outside of family and school circles, with the intention to get to know the other person better and share pleasurable experiences together

I also loved the comment of understanding the principle under the doctrine. We are asked not to date before we are 16 to help us keep the law of Chastity. Statistically, those who wait until 16 are far less likely to engage in sexual activity before marriage. Ultimately, that is the LDS opinion is that we should not engage in such activity outside of marriage. If you consider "dating" to be "he picks her up, they go somewhere nice, etc." there are many people who have broken the law of Chastity without ever going on a date. Ultimately, we have our agency, and can decide for ourselves what our own definition of "dating" is, but I personally agree with nicolasconnaults definition because it sets safe barriers for relationships in my life. Before I turned 16, I tried to avoid situations in which I was alone with another girl because I considered that "dating." I was spending time with a girl to share pleasurable experiences, and I wanted to avoid that outside of the safety of groups. So, can you have a boyfriend/girlfriend without dating? I tend not to think so.